Why did you leave the church?

Why did you decide not to go back to a church, any church?

These and other questions are among those we have been asking for many years through a variety of research projects. Why do people leave the church and not return? We have specifically asked those questions of the formerly churched who were active in a church for at least two consecutive years, but did not return for at least two more years.

Here are the ten most common responses:

1. "I got out of the habit." They had no major impetus that prompted them to leave. They became less and less active in the church until they were inactive.
2. "I left after I graduated from high school." Many of them went to college and did not attend church during those years. Others simply left church after getting out of their parents' home.
3. "I decided I didn't like the institutional church." We are hearing that reason a lot. But we can't get a consistent answer on why they are anti-institutional. And we hear a number of different definitions of "institutions."
4. "I was hurt at the church." For certain, there are a lot of wounded former church members out there. The local church can be pretty mean. It can be painful for a church member who gets on the wrong side of a church bully or a petty argument.
5. "I just couldn't find a church to meet my needs." This person is the classic church hopper and shopper. They practice consumer and preferential Christianity with vigor. But, alas, when none of the 28 churches they visited met their needs, they decided to stop trying altogether.
6. "I had a need, and the church didn't meet it." This reason is related to No. 5 with some specificity. The former church member is referring to a specific incident where the church was not there for him or her. Just two weeks ago, I spoke to someone who did not feel the church was there sufficiently after the death of her mother.
7. "I never felt connected in the church." Almost every church member who offers this reason did not get involved with a group in the church. Such is the reason I am obnoxiously redundant about connecting members to groups.
8. "I did not give to the church." Of course, we really didn't hear that statement from a former church member. But I have encouraged pastors to ask the person who has visibility to giving records to find out if the now-inactive church member was a giver. Most of the time, the answer is no. One pastor asked the question about four families who left the church in a specific year. The total giving of the four families was zero.
9. "I left when Pastor John left." A number of the formerly churched were loyal primarily to a specific pastor. So, when that pastor left the church, they became inactive.
10. "We moved and never went back to church." This issue is worthy of a future study. How many of the formerly churched relocated and never connected with a church? Why did they take this path?

These are 10 of the most common reasons the churched became the formerly churched. I would love to hear your thoughts.

Thom S. Rainer is the founder and CEO of Church Answers, an online community and resource for church leaders.

This article originally appeared at thomrainer.com.

Listen to the podcast below for help if your church is struggling with decline.

Get Spirit-filled content delivered right to your inbox! Click here to subscribe to our newsletter.

Dr. Steve Greene is now sharing stories, teachings, and conversations with guests who lead with love on Love Leads, a new podcast. Listen now.

Dr. Mark Rutland's

National Institute of Christian Leadership (NICL)

The NICL is one of the top leadership training programs in the U.S. taught by Dr. Mark Rutland. If you're the type of leader that likes to have total control over every aspect of your ministry and your future success, the NICL is right for you!

FREE NICL MINI-COURSE - Enroll for 3-hours of training from Dr. Rutland's full leadership course. Experience the NICL and decide if this training is right for you and your team.

The NICL Online is an option for any leader with time or schedule constraints. It's also for leaders who want to expedite their training to receive advanced standing for Master Level credit hours. Work through Dr. Rutland's full training from the comfort of your home or ministry at your pace. Learn more about NICL Online. Learn more about NICL Online.