9 Things You Can Learn as a Pastor's Wife

There are many responsibilities and blessings that go along with being a pastor's wife.
Pastor Louie and Tricia Reyes (Courtesy of Tricia Reyes)

I grew up going to a Catholic Church, so the only man of God I knew was the priest, and he vowed to celibacy. I never even knew of a pastor and a pastor's wife.

I grew up in a small farm town, so I was pretty sheltered. I never imagined I would marry a pastor. I knew religion growing up, but not a true relationship with Jesus Christ. It wasn't until I was in college that I had received Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.

It was then that I had begun to attend a nondenominational Christian church and I met my husband, a children's pastor at the time. Being new to the Christian faith. I thought being a minister's wife and a Christian woman was to be meek and support my husband. Then the real test came when my husband felt the call of God to pioneer a church where he grew up. So we moved from Colorado to Illinois—that was a big move.

I didn't have a lot of examples of pastor's wives from which to glean. Our pastor's wife in Colorado had a quiet personality, and I always saw her taking notes, so that's pretty much what I did. I stayed quiet and happily sat on the front row taking notes of my husband's sermon. Looking back, I wish there would have been some kind of handbook for pastor's wives. There was a lot that I didn't know and understand.

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Having a husband who is a pastor can be very interesting. Here are nine things you learn as a pastor's wife:

  • You find out quickly that Saturdays are not normally family days. That's when most pastors close themselves in and prepare themselves for Sunday's sermon.
  • It seems as though Satan runs through our home on Sunday mornings. These type of situations always seems to happen:
    • Your children want to throw a fit or they don't want to wear a nice outfit to church and they ask why they have to.
    • You find yourself—after you've put on a nice outfit—on your knees in your child's closet looking for his dress shoes.
    • You have a wardrobe malfunction, and you know women will be looking at what you wear.
    • As you are about to walk out the door, you child doesn't want to wear a coat and starts crying, and you are already late.
  • You may be awakened in the middle of the night as your husband quietly says, "God just spoke to me," and you do everything you can to stay awake while he is sharing.
  • Your husband gets the vision from God, and you are excited. However your mental calculator starts adding up the cost.
  • You sometimes cringe when his phone rings during dinner or when you are out. Your mind goes to "How long will this call be?" Pastors are on call 24/7.

Is having a husband who is a pastor a bad thing? Absolutely not. I share these things for pastors' wives to let them know they are not alone and that there are other women who go through some of the same things. I could have listed many things; however, it's more important to know the blessings of being married to a pastor. Here are five of them:

  • It is an honor and privilege that the Lord called you to stand next to the man of God. Your husband is called by God and so are you. You have a special call on your life.
  • Sometimes you will have to make adjustments to your life so your husband can pastor the people properly. God is faithful even when it gets challenging. 
  • Spiritual warfare is constant, whether you are in ministry or not. Anytime you are doing something for God, Satan will always try to distract or hinder you.
  • Anytime you step out in faith to carry out the vision for your ministry, it will cost you, and at times, it may not seem possible to accomplish. God is faithful and He will test your faith, then provide for what He has called you to do.
  • You are married to a man who needs you and needs your support. It doesn't mean you give up your life for his; however, God will give you the strength to go through any challenges you face in your marriage, your children and your ministry!

"And let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due season we shall reap, if we do not give up" (Gal. 6:9, MEV).

"Look, I give you authority to trample on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy. And nothing shall by any means hurt you" (Luke 10:19, MEV).

"But my God shall supply your every need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus" (Phil. 4:19, MEV).

I love sharing from my heart the truths and realities of the life of a pastor's wife and being in the ministry. As we labor for the Lord, leading God's people can take a toll on you and your husband. God's plan is not for you or your husband to burn out or give up; He called you both because He has equipped you and anointed you to lead His people to Him. Always remember that you both are a bridge for God's people to get to Him. Stay strong in the Lord—great is your reward!

Along with her husband, Pastor Luis Reyes, Tricia Reyes is the co-founder of The New Church Of Joy in Waukegan, Illinois. She is a blogger, author and helps manage her daughter Madison's (Maddie Rey) Music Ministry. She is a devoted wife and mother to Madison and Matthew and loves the Lord with all her heart! To learn more about Tricia's ministry or to book her for a Women's Event/Conference visit her website at triciareyes.com or thenewchurchofjoy.com.

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