The drama, insecurities and comparisons ...

I remember years ago I was eight months pregnant with my first child and word got back to me that a woman volunteer was asking the question, "Why isn't Tricia doing more?"

That was when my husband and I first started our church, which was my first experience working with women in ministry. I was hurt by that because, as a pastor's wife, I have always tried to encourage women in our ministry, be friendly with them and I try to make them feel secure in our ministry. My thoughts were "Can't this woman see that I am seriously pregnant and I am not able to do as much?" This is how I felt.

Over the years, I had to battle my insecurities working with women in ministry. Women will come around each other and look each other up and down; they sometimes want to know or find out your weaknesses so they can feel better about themselves. I have seen it all in 20 years of ministry, everything from offenses, arguments, insecurities and comparison. 

For some reason women struggle working together in ministry by comparing themselves. If the pastor praises a certain woman, other women get jealous. Women tend to act and dress like other women in the ministry to feel good about ourselves. Women will look at other women in the ministry that are married and compare their marriages, or think that this couple or that couple has the perfect marriage. It can cause women to stumble and even lose their ministry because they are acting out in their flesh and they are not sticking to what God has called them to be.

Here is what God thinks of you and what He has called you to be:

• You are a new creation - 2 Corinthians 5:17
• You are His ambassador - 2 Corinthians 5:20
• You are being transformed into His likeness - 2 Corinthians 3:18
• His grace is sufficient; His power is made perfect in your weakness - 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
• You are chosen and hand-picked by Him - 2 Thessalonians 2:13
• You are beautiful - Ecclesiastes 3:11
• You are holy and blameless; you are the King's daughter; redeemed and restored to righteousness - Ephesians 1:4-7
• You have been created in His image - Genesis 1:27
• You are His perfect bride - Hosea 2:19
• You are the work of His Hand - Isaiah 64:8
• You have been created for His glory - Isaiah 43:6-7
• You are a good and perfect gift - James 1:17
• You are His beloved – Ephesians 1:6 
• You are valuable to Him - Luke 12:7
• You can do all things through His strength - Philippians 4:13
• You are so wonderfully made - Psalm 139:14
• You have been crowned with love and compassion - Psalm 103:4

The last Scripture says that you've been crowned with love and compassion. As women of God working together, we must work in love and compassion.

We are all uniquely made and there are no duplicates. God has an individual purpose for all of us, so there's no need for comparison or insecurity. God created all of us just the way we are and God does not make mistakes. Love the women you work with in your church, show them compassion. You do not have to be buddies and you may not always get along, however if you are working in your ministry with other women, know that God called all of you to work together to build His Kingdom through your ministry. 

I am firm believer that women working together in love and compassion can accomplish great things! Next time you work with other women in your ministry, compliment them and encourage them. You will be surprised how it will make you feel and you may find out that all women need encouragement and we don't all have it all together.

God is faithful and if you can receive your identity from His Word, you will be able to work with any type of woman and God will use you in a great way. 

"But He gives more grace. For this reason it says: 'God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble'" (James 4:6, MEV).

Humble yourselves ladies so that God can empower you in such a great way that you will impact so many lives through your work in ministry!

Along with her husband, Pastor Luis Reyes, Tricia Reyes is the co-founder of The New Church Of Joy in Waukegan, Illinois. She is a blogger, author and helps manage her daughter Madison's (Maddie Rey) Music Ministry. She is a devoted wife and mother to Madison and Matthew and loves the Lord with all her heart! To learn more about Tricia's ministry or to book her for a Women's Event/Conference visit her website at triciareyes.com or thenewchurchofjoy.com.

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