To be honest, I've been blessed. In all the churches I've served as pastor or interim pastor, most of my members have been great people. Sometimes, though, a church member can be downright mean. Based on our Lawless Group interviews and surveys over the years, here are some of the reasons church members can be mean:
- All church members are still people. That's not an excuse for meanness, though; it's just an admission of reality. Even saved people sometimes act like sinners when the right button gets pushed.
- Some are non-believers. Even Jesus had one in His immediate group of 12 who was never a believer, and I doubt our churches will do better than Jesus did. Lost people will always act like lost people eventually—even when they don't think they're lost.
- Many are undiscipled. Too many churches bring people into the local congregation, but then do nothing to disciple them. The new believers remain babies in Christ, even when they've been in the church for years. Usually, they whine a lot.
- Some are carrying burdens alone. Often, we don't know what burdens others bear because we choose to carry our own pain alone. The father who can't find a job. The parents whose child has been arrested. The teen whose parents have just split up. Sometimes the anguish of life weighs so heavy on us that our tempers are short and our words are volatile.
- Some have maintained their control over the church by their meanness. Over the years, their rude and unkind behavior has caused others to just give up and let them have their way. They gained control by meanness, and they seek to keep it the same way.
- Some were given authority far too early. When our churches give positions to those who haven't yet grown (and many churches grant positions on the basis of years in the church rather than on maturity in the faith), we shouldn't be surprised when those leaders fight to protect their toys. That's what kids do.
- Some are living in sin. For anyone who is a true believer, the conviction of sin cuts deeply, but that doesn't always result in immediate repentance. Church members who remain in their sin for any length of time sometimes turn their conviction on others.
- Some have anger issues. Maybe you know people like that. They're great one minute, but they erupt like a volcano the next. They're often quickly repentant, too, but they get no help in breaking the pattern.
- The church lets them be mean. At the bottom line, church members are mean because the church allows them to be that way. For whatever reason—perhaps its fear of losing members—churches sometimes refuse to confront members who need to repentant of their rudeness and unkindness.
What other reasons would you add?
Chuck Lawless is dean and vice president of graduate studies and ministry centers at Southeastern Seminary in Wake Forest, North Carolina, where he also serves as professor of evangelism and missions. In addition, he is global theological education consultant for the International Mission Board of the Southern Baptist Convention.
This article originally appeared at chucklawless.com.
Get Spirit-filled content delivered right to your inbox! Click here to subscribe to our newsletter.
Help Charisma stay strong for years to come as we report on life in the Spirit. Become an integral part of Charisma’s work by joining Charisma Media Partners. Click here to keep us strong!
Dr. Mark Rutland's
National Institute of Christian Leadership (NICL)
The NICL is one of the top leadership training programs in the U.S. taught by Dr. Mark Rutland. If you're the type of leader that likes to have total control over every aspect of your ministry and your future success, the NICL is right for you!
FREE NICL MINI-COURSE - Enroll for 3-hours of training from Dr. Rutland's full leadership course. Experience the NICL and decide if this training is right for you and your team.Do you feel stuck? Do you feel like you’re not growing? Do you need help from an expert in leadership? There is no other leadership training like the NICL. Gain the leadership skills and confidence you need to lead your church, business or ministry. Get ready to accomplish all of your God-given dreams. CLICK HERE for NICL training dates and details.
The NICL Online is an option for any leader with time or schedule constraints. It's also for leaders who want to expedite their training to receive advanced standing for Master Level credit hours. Work through Dr. Rutland's full training from the comfort of your home or ministry at your pace. Learn more about NICL Online. Learn more about NICL Online.