The enemy of our souls wants the church to believe a great lie—that the conversation about sexuality plays a "minor role" in the fabric of our lives—and some have bought it hook, line and sinker.

"I'm just not seeing the message of grace presented in these purity and modesty movements," a woman recently wrote to me. "Why did Jesus die on the cross? We are righteous because of Jesus, not because of our works. ... [Purity and modesty] are conversations that play such a minor role in the fabric of our lives. The gospel is about Jesus and God's grace. It's not about purity."

From Genesis to Revelation, the Scriptures whisper that sexuality and the way it is expressed helps us to make God known.

Ephesians drives the stake into the ground of sexual truth when it declares a pure, holy sexual union between a man and his wife is a picture of Christ and the church. If that is true—and we know it is—how motivated do you think Satan is to see that picture destroyed in the church?

He is motivated.

I believe that Satan's three battlefronts are biological sex (versus gender reformation); purity (versus tolerance); and unity (versus prejudice). Each of these issues is so inflated and volatile right now, and it's more critical than ever that we proceed in love and gentleness, but lack no conviction for truth.

Satan hates distinct biological sex because in biological sex, we see God's image, His picture. Genesis 1:27 reads, "So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them." While we possess many God-like traits, no others are isolated and esteemed the way that biological sex is in the Genesis account, and this is affirmed in passages in the New Testament that instruct us concerning the complementary roles of man and woman. Our distinct biological sex reflects his image. For this reason, I embrace the fullness of my womanhood and reject anything that seeks to willfully diminish it or rebel against it.

Satan hates pure marital union because it is a picture of Christ's love. Ephesians 5:31-32 reads, "'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall be one flesh.' This is a great mystery, but I am speaking about Christ and the church." Marriage—and the sexual union that bonds it—is meant to mysteriously display the unbreakable covenant love of Christ for the church that will culminate at the wedding feast of the Lamb. For this reason, I receive the gift of marriage and my pure, holy marriage bed, and rebuke anything that seeks to willfully defile it.

Satan hates racial unity because at the wedding feast of the Lamb, we are one bride! The book of Revelation describes a wedding feast where the bride of Christ is comprised of "every tribe and tongue and people and nation" (Rev. 5:9-10). For this reason, I embrace the oneness and unity of the bride of Christ; and rise up against anything racist or denominationally divisive that willfully seeks to disunify her.

Sleeping With the Enemy

Forget the back-of-a-Volkswagen sexual ethics of the 1960s when Christians at large stood aghast at the moral corruption of our Woodstock that would soon permeate our culture. We are way beyond that.

According to a survey by Christian Mingle, only 11 percent of Christian singles today believe sex should be reserved for marriage. George Barna says that the majority of tweens today believe "the Bible does not specifically condemn homosexuality." There was no statistical difference in the percentage of Christian women versus unchurched women who read the erotic best-seller Fifty Shades of Grey that glorifies BDSM (bondage, domination, sadism, masochism). The church is well on its way to becoming what some have called sexual atheists—we want the free grace of Christ, just not His moral behavior code.

Something must be done. But if we are not careful, we will be getting in bed with the enemy. The devil stands on both sides of the Christian debate—acceptance and hateful accusation—to coach us. For example, the sexual revolution brought us the pill and abortion. Dr. Russell Moore of the Ethics and Religious Liberties Commission once said, "No one is more pro-choice on the way into the abortion clinic than the devil, and no one is more pro-life on the way out of the abortion clinic than the devil. Because what he wants to do is deceive on the front-end ... he seeks to say on one hand, you're too good for the gospel, and the other hand you're now too bad for the gospel."

The devil is an accuser. Let us not speak that language!

Addressing the Hurt

What we need to find is a place where our teaching is fueled with both conviction and kindness. Rather than endorsing sin or hatefully donning our Westboro Baptist-style headlines, we should be finding a place to understand the deep hurt and pain driving individuals to their sexual brokenness.

Sexual preference is a great place to apply a hearty dose of convicted kindness. Men living out the gay lifestyle are in deep emotional pain. The Center for Disease Control's website states that "MSM (men who have sex with men) are at greater risk for mental health problems." This includes major depression during adolescence and adulthood, bipolar disorder, generalized anxiety, greater use of illegal drugs and a greater risk of suicide. According to Cambridge University, lesbian women are twice as likely to have "longstanding mental health problems." Bisexual women were nearly three times as likely to suffer.

These risks do not go away when they come out and find an accepting community. Kindness is seeking to not only help these individuals solve their deepest hurts, but also to point them to truth.

Reducing Sexual Chaos

Our youth need to be trained up in sexual truth, but let's define "youth." I'm all about sexual theology for our college kids and purity events for our teenagers, but we've got to think way younger to the tweens. The church is not adequately raising up material for Christian parents and the children to be trained to know the truth about sexuality and gender. Could we be missing the greatest strategy of all to win this battle?

Here are three things the church should be teaching our tweens now to reduce sexual chaos later. I beg you to help me find platforms for these three truths that we might build a biblical foundation of gender for our children—the future church—to stand on. While these may not seem to be at all related to sexuality, I assure you that they are the foundations upon which sexual truth can be built.

Reflecting the Light

The first truth we must teach children is this: Your primary purpose is to glorify God. God made us for Himself and has jealously protected His treasure by sacrificing His Son. It is this sacrifice that motivates us to glorify Him and, make no mistake, it takes our bodies to do this: "You were bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's" (1 Cor. 6:20).

Our children do not need self-esteem. They need God-esteem. If they esteem God, they will understand their value, but not make too much of themselves.

But what does it actually mean to glorify Him with your body? To glorify God is to make Him known and visible. For that reason, I assign you to find the nearest child and take them on a moon walk. The moon has no light of its own. It's "a cold, dark stone," as Sara Groves sings. But we see it glorifying the sun. This is a child's primary job, and we should tell them so in this me-centered world.

Embracing our Differences

Next that child must be told, "Your primary practice, then, must be to look like God, and we do that best in His defined roles of maleness and femaleness." We find this truth solidly planted in Genesis. The pinnacle of God's design was Adam and Eve. One man. One woman. They were more than just a unique creation. They were a representation. "Then God said, 'Let us make man in our image, after our likeness.' ... So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them" (Gen. 1:26, 27).

There are so many God-like qualities that humanity possesses. Why doesn't God mention the traits of being intelligent or worshipful or creative when He says we were created in His image? Why doesn't He commend our language proficiency or our ability to compose sonnets? Apparently these are not the things that make us most like a representation of God. It is our maleness and our femaleness that makes us like Him. This places authentic humanity and sexuality in the context of male and female distinctiveness. Our ability to look like Him mandates that we embrace those differences, not seek to erase them.

The book of Romans teaches us that disregarding His definitions for manhood and womanhood is a rebellious refusal to glorify Him and an attempt to hide who He is and whose we are. Pastor John Piper puts it this way: "God's divine nature is revealed in the physical, material universe. So much so that Romans 1:20 says, "So they are without excuse" when "they changed the glory of the incorruptible God into an image made like corruptible man ..." (Rom. 1:23).

Called to Sacrifice

Finally, kids need to know that their bodies, therefore, must be a living sacrifice to God. In Romans, the apostle Paul also begs for us to lay down our own plans for our bodies, and to make them daily living, breathing sacrifices to our purpose of glorifying God. This includes how we work, live, give, spend and even whom we have sex with, no matter what gender "preference" might be tempting to us. Those verses read: "I urge you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy, and acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service of worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God" (Rom. 12:1-2).

Why did God make you a girl or a boy? Because you were created to contribute to humanity's purpose of glorifying and enjoying God, and God chose for you to do that as a woman. Or a man. You illuminate who God is when you embrace the role of womanhood or manhood because it is in male and female distinctions that we are the image of God. There will be times when this is a sacrifice for you. It is a sacrifice for all of us at some point in our lives. But His is only reasonable, says the apostle Paul, since Christ went first, sacrificing His life for us.

Some are called to sacrifice ministry position to speak truth in denominations that are losing their conviction—or lack kindness.

Some are called to sacrifice time to speak truth in churches ready for the conversation.

Some are called to sacrifice reputation to speak truth in the political realm.

And, most difficult of all, some are called to sacrifice desire to submit to God's definition of womanhood, manhood and marriage.

What's your sacrifice?  

Dannah Gresh is a best-selling author and sexuality educator who has delivered a TED Talk defending virginity. She is also the creator of Secret Keeper Girl. Her most recent book for tweens, It's Great to Be a Girl, is on body care, but tucked within the pages is age-appropriate theology on gender in a fun workbook format. She and her husband, Bob, are working on the manuscript for It's Great to Be a Guy, due out in 2016. Learn more at dannahgresh.com.

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