One disappointment I have had in ministry is watching people come to church, get excited for a time, then disappear. You spend energy and heart on people, grow to love them and get excited about them, and suddenly they are nowhere to be found.
The biggest disappointment is not people who transfer to another church. I'm OK with that if it helps them better grow in their relationship with Christ. I'm talking about people who quit going to church altogether. They are in one day—out the next.
What happens to them? Why do they leave?
I've found there are often similar reasons that are repeated continuously. Perhaps you have seen this too.
Here are seven reasons people leave the church:
1. Burn out. These people came out of the gate too strong in the church. They showed up, got excited, and signed up for everything. They got so busy doing church that they failed to enjoy being the church.
2. Injury. People inside the church can be cruel. I hate when that happens, but it's true sometimes. These people experienced some of those people, and they couldn't move past it.
3. Distractions. These people got distracted by seemingly good things. They were playing travel ball, loving the fast life, traveling every weekend. Over time, their lifestyle of attending becomes the habit of not attending.
4. Life change. These people had a lifestyle change, such as divorce or remarriage—or they move to a new community—and never reconnect with a church.
5. Mistakes. These people messed up! They made a mistake that may be public—or at least they feel that it will be known—and the place that should dispense grace either refuses it, or they fear that it would. Many times when a person feels that way, it is more perception than reality, but the way a person feels about themselves may determine whether they remain committed to church.
6. Power struggle. These people had an agenda. They were pursuing an issue—or a position—and when their demands weren't met and they couldn't overpower the system, they left.
7. Lack of connection. These people never connected with others on a deeper level. As a result, they never felt really a "part" of the church.
Pastors, have you experienced these walking with people in ministry? How do you address these issues?
Obviously, we need to do all we can to help people become disciples. Knowing why they leave may be helpful. We can't address some of these issues—maybe most—much of this is out of our control. But, the more we understand the more we can help people as they experience these.
I think there is also a word here to the one who has disappeared or is on the verge of doing so. Beware. If you feel the need for the church in your life—or if you understand the biblical mandate to be a part of a body of believers—then guard your heart for these. And, help us know how to be a better church. In fact, come help us be a better church. Here's one pastor (and, I know so many others) who is listening.
What other reasons would you add to my list?
Ron Edmondson is the senior pastor at Immanuel Baptist Church in Lexington, Kentucky. For the original article, visit ronedmondson.com.
Get Spirit-filled content delivered right to your inbox! Click here to subscribe to our newsletter.
Dr. Mark Rutland's
National Institute of Christian Leadership (NICL)
The NICL is one of the top leadership training programs in the U.S. taught by Dr. Mark Rutland. If you're the type of leader that likes to have total control over every aspect of your ministry and your future success, the NICL is right for you!
FREE NICL MINI-COURSE - Enroll for 3-hours of training from Dr. Rutland's full leadership course. Experience the NICL and decide if this training is right for you and your team.
Do you feel stuck? Do you feel like you’re not growing? Do you need help from an expert in leadership? There is no other leadership training like the NICL. Gain the leadership skills and confidence you need to lead your church, business or ministry. Get ready to accomplish all of your God-given dreams. CLICK HERE for NICL training dates and details.The NICL Online is an option for any leader with time or schedule constraints. It's also for leaders who want to expedite their training to receive advanced standing for Master Level credit hours. Work through Dr. Rutland's full training from the comfort of your home or ministry at your pace. Learn more about NICL Online. Learn more about NICL Online.