Pastor's Wives, Your Support for Your Husband Matters Immensely

Pastors' wives, remember one of the most important things you can do for your husband is support him.
Pastors' wives, remember one of the most important things you can do for your husband is support him. (Dreamstime)

So many times, I have seen it. The pastor or minister's wife takes a backseat role to her husband. Some women have even said "that's what he does."

I don't believe that wives necessarily MUST work in the ministry with their husbands. However, I do feel that any woman married to a pastor or minister plays an important role. Your husband is serving God and is on the front lines winning people to Christ, which puts a huge target on his back. The enemy will throw everything at him to get him to quit or fall into temptation.

I believe as women we have our own identity and we have a purpose that God wants us to fulfill. What God certainly does want from us is to encourage and support our husbands.

Let's put it this way: many people to which your husband ministers think he is a spiritual superman. However, you see him every day and can help him stay accountable or encourage him when he is discouraged. He is not expected to show discouragement or weakness in public.

Get Spirit-filled content delivered right to your inbox! Click here to subscribe to our newsletter.

Your husband needs you, as his wife to be involved with him and his calling, and to support him. That does not mean you lose your identity or who you are, or that what you do is not important. Just the fact that the Lord would call you to be a wife of a pastor or minister is a great honor. 

Here are five ways you can support your husband in ministry:

1. Give him over to the Lord. He belongs to God and God has called him to be a minister. I do believe that men of God need to try to balance ministry, marriage and family; however, the worst thing we can do as wives is pull on our husbands and distract them from what God has called him to do because of our neediness. Our husbands can never meet all of our needs—only God can.

2. Pray for him. Because he is in the enemy's crosshairs, Satan will even pull your emotional strings to distract him. Your husband needs your prayers. You know his weakness and challenges, and as his wife you have authority as you pray for him. 

3. Respect his office as a minister. The hardest to do at times is to respect the office your husband walks in. At church, he is the pastor and at home he is the husband. You may have to remind him at times about the latter.

4. Be his biggest cheerleader. Try to be involved in the services or events that he ministers at when you can.  I've seen youth pastors ministering to teens, and the wife is nowhere to be found. If you are able to be there, be there to support him. Encourage him after he ministers because many times the enemy will try to attack his mind and make him think the word he just preached wasn't well received.

5. Don't get offended. Your role as a wife can be challenging, whether it's a tired husband coming home or your role in dealing with the children while he gets to travel around the world. Sometimes people in your church love your husband and don't think much of you. Whatever situations arise that would cause you to be offended, DON'T.  That is a trap of the enemy. If he can pull you out, he has your husband. 

I pray for all the mighty women of God that have been called to be the wife of a pastor or a minister. You are a strong woman. You have a great call and purpose in your life. Don't give up and let God be the source of every need you have.

Just like Esther changed the future of her people and Ruth was obedient and honoring, these women received blessings beyond what they could imagine through their humility, honor and reverence to the Lord. I am so honored to be a pastor's wife and that He has called me to be a support to my husband. Together, we are helping to build His kingdom.

Along with her husband, Pastor Luis Reyes, Tricia Reyes is the co-founder of The New Church Of Joy in Waukegan, Illinois. She is a blogger, author and helps manage her daughter Madison's (Maddie Rey) Music Ministry. She is a devoted wife and mother to Madison and Matthew and loves the Lord with all her heart! To learn more about Tricia's ministry or to book her for a Women's Event/Conference visit her website at or

Get Spirit-filled content delivered right to your inbox! Click here to subscribe to our newsletter.

Dr. Steve Greene is now sharing stories, teachings, and conversations with guests who lead with love on Love Leads, a new podcast. Listen now.

Dr. Mark Rutland's

National Institute of Christian Leadership (NICL)

The NICL is one of the top leadership training programs in the U.S. taught by Dr. Mark Rutland. If you're the type of leader that likes to have total control over every aspect of your ministry and your future success, the NICL is right for you!

FREE NICL MINI-COURSE - Enroll for 3-hours of training from Dr. Rutland's full leadership course. Experience the NICL and decide if this training is right for you and your team.

Do you feel stuck? Do you feel like you’re not growing? Do you need help from an expert in leadership? There is no other leadership training like the NICL. Gain the leadership skills and confidence you need to lead your church, business or ministry. Get ready to accomplish all of your God-given dreams. CLICK HERE for NICL training dates and details.

The NICL Online is an option for any leader with time or schedule constraints. It's also for leaders who want to expedite their training to receive advanced standing for Master Level credit hours. Work through Dr. Rutland's full training from the comfort of your home or ministry at your pace. Learn more about NICL Online. Learn more about NICL Online.

Charisma Leader — Serving and empowering church leaders