A proactive approach can help minimize the X-rated threat to your ministry
Porn is probably the fastest-growing problem in the church. When speaking at my Sex, Men and God conferences, I have found that more than 50 percent of the men attending will admit to being addicted—not struggling with—to pornography.
What about your church staff? Many of your staff members were also raised sexually by Playboy, the Internet and our sex-saturated culture. We have to accept the reality that being in ministry doesn’t make anyone immune to the porn problem. This problem is largely a male issue, but there is more research supporting the fact that there is a rising in number of Christian women who are also dabbling in pornography and social networks for inappropriate relationships.
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I know from personal experience what it’s like to be trapped by porn and sex addiction. I have been free for over 24 years, and being free is much better.
There are several proactive things that you can do to minimize the threat of porn or other sexual issues, which will damage your ministry. Rarely does a month go by when a pastor or Christian leader is not sitting in my office with a porn or moral failure that could have possibly been prevented by having some of these strategies in place.
Porn blockers on all church computers are a good first step. You can have accountability software, which allows a designated person to receive a report on websites attempted or viewed by each staff person. You can also offer to pay for porn blockers on home computers to even further safeguard your staff.
Computers are not the only things that need a porn blocker anymore. Cellphones that have Internet access are virtual porn stores in your staff members’ pockets. You can have the browsers disabled or have a porn blocker and accountability software installed for cellphones, too. My phone doesn’t have Internet access because I just don’t need or want the thought of having access to a porn store in my pocket 24/7.
We hear so much in the media about the military’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy. The military has nothing on the church. We don’t ask our singles, men or women in our congregation—and especially our staff—questions about their porn issues.
I would say man and woman up. Ask regularly if they are viewing porn. When you ask, you are giving them the opportunity for honesty. When you don’t ask, this secret can grow into an affair or lawsuit for the church. So ask, and have women ask women as well, so that this porn issue isn’t growing hooks into anyone on your staff.
Lastly, I have a radical idea. My clinical team and I voluntarily offer a guarantee that there is no secret sexual sin in our house, so that we can help any ministry. We agree to voluntarily take a polygraph to verify no porn or sex outside of marriage. So when you send a client to our office for a sex addiction problem, intimacy anorexia issues or marriage intensive counseling, you can be sure that the counselor is sexually clean.
As a leader, you can volunteer to do this, and you can ask others to do likewise. You can also tell future staff members who you want to hire that you want to verify their sexual purity. This will persuade those who want to continue in their sin to suddenly not feel “called” or “led” to be a part of your team. This practice has actually stopped several Christian male counselors from wanting to be on my staff.
Ultimately, your proactive approach can help those on your staff feel safe. This also helps your flock know that their leaders are taking a strategic stance against the devil’s plan to destroy the ministry that they receive from your team.
Dr. Doug Weiss, Ph.D., is the executive director of Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, Colo., and the author of Sex, God and Men (Charisma House). You may contact Dr. Weiss via his website, www.drdougweiss.com, by phone at 719-278-3708 or through email at heart2heart@xc.org.
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