Who or What Is Your Bathsheba?

Do you have a Bathsheba in your life, preacher?
Are there any Bathshebas you need to avoid? (iStock photo)

Editor's Note: The following is a pretend scenario. If King David were alive today, this is what he might say to preachers.

King David here ... Even though God described me as the man after His own heart, most people know me as the man who was after Bathsheba. That's what you tell your congregation about me the most.

You've preached a whole lot about me, so now it's my turn to preach to you. Hopefully, you'll learn a lot from my mistakes before it's too late for you. My ministry was cut short because of what I had done and I hope you won't let that happen to you. Might you have your own private Bathsheba in your life? Which month is she? What's her video star name? Let's talk about your personal temptation and porn.

You can't outsmart the wisdom of God. Your secret is known by God. You think that you cover all your tracks and hide all the evidence. That's what I thought when I did my best to hide the evidence of what I did with Bathsheba and to Uriah. No one knew—much like you think that no one will ever know about your porn.

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You make sure you delete your browsing history on your computer. You might even have an alternate payment method, an alias chat name or a great hiding place for those magazines. But your private porn is not hidden to an omniscient God. He already knows and He will expose.

You've got it all figured out, just like I thought I did. God desires truth in our inner parts and you're not being truthful. He wants to create a pure heart in you and you're not interested. God will not continue to be mocked by you. Do you really think you can hide what you view and do? Do you think He doesn't see and know? Where is your head?

You know your theology and you especially should know better. God sent Nathan to expose my sin. Who do you think He's going to send in exposing you? You're way in over your head and your secret is not as safe as you think. You will lose in your chess match with God. He will win and He already is winning. I'll show you how—if you're brave enough to still keep reading. Are you still there?

You can't undo the results of sin. Just like I described in Psalm 51 and 32, your secret sin is always on your mind. It's always in front of you. It eats away at you. You're fearfully and wonderfully made that way. God wired you that way. Day and night, God's hand will be heavy upon you when you mess up. You can't stop thinking about your double life and porn secret.

Sometimes the wages of sin are a slow death that starts in your soul. Your body begins to feel it. Your strength is sapped. Your bones feel crushed and waste away. That joy you used to have is now gone. You don't have the same strength or peace you had before.

When you're not trying to justify what you do, you're agonizing over what you do. Your ministry and personality are not the same because of your shame. You've lost your power because you've lost your purity. Your enthusiasm, focus, energy and sincerity are not what they used to be. "Blessed is the one in whose spirit there is no deceit" (Ps. 32:2).

That's not you! You're quite deceitful in the double life that you secretly lead. "Who can ascend the hill of the Lord? The one who has clean hands and a pure heart" (Ps. 24:3-4). That's not you! Your hands are especially unclean as you type on the computer, turn the pages in those magazines, play those naked videos, and use them to switch to the adult viewing channel. Have you not noticed how you've changed? Maybe your wife does but she can't figure out why. And when she does ...

You can't imagine the pain you'll cause. Your family is going to suffer. Your wife, kids and church are all going to pay the price. Innocent people are going to get hurt as a result, like they did with my own porn. I had no idea how much damage I would cause by such a seemingly simple lust for Bathsheba as I walked around on the roof of my palace on that restless night. I had no idea how it would escalate and get out of control.

Bathsheba suddenly lost her husband and then she soon lost the child we had conceived in secret. I had to twice comfort my wife in the unbearable grief that I had caused her to feel. She cried because two people died and it was my fault. Her life was turned upside down because I gave into my temptation.

Your wife is going to feel the same pain. I want to spare both of you that pain that I saw. You vowed that you'd be faithful to her but your eyes can't stay off other women. Their breasts are the ones who captivate you when God tells you to be captivated only by the breasts of your wife. You've broken your wedding vows and you're going to break her heart when she discovers your secret. You're going to make her feel so inferior and inadequate.

As for your kids, how will you feel when you watch your sons do exactly what you're doing? They might follow in your footsteps. You'll always be wondering if their lifestyle is some form of punishment from God, just like I did with my sons Amnon and Absalom.

And let's not forget to add your church family to the list of those who will suffer. Some of your members will gossip. Some who know your wife will look at you differently and you'll wonder why. Others will struggle with their faith because you haven't won your struggle against lust and porn. My private porn and sin with Bathsheba was SO NOT worth it, believe me. But your story doesn't need to end the way that mine did. It's not too late. You still have time.

You can't delay the confession of sin. I did and it cost me dearly. I was like a stubborn horse and mule. You got all puffed up and so full of yourself in your success and decided to let your guard down, just like I had done when I should have been with my soldiers in war on that night when I lusted after Bathsheba. My spirit was hardened and it needed to be broken and softened.

That's what He delights in most of all. All God wanted out of me was a contrite spirit. I needed to admit how weak I was and ask Him to create a pure heart in me because I completely lost mine. Your confession is needed now. You lost all your strength, just like Samson did in his lust for Delilah and like Herod did in his lust for the daughter of Herodias. God will renew your strength in your body and your ministry. He will bring back your joy.

When I confessed to God, I was forgiven by God—immediately! My burden was lifted and my debt was paid. It's so very easy to be forgiven. The blood of Jesus cleanses us from all sin, even sexual sin and even your sexual sin. You especially should know that so let's practice what you preach. Let's come clean today.

As long as you continue to watch porn, your spirit is hardened and not broken. Jesus is the friend of sinners and He'll even be your friend once again. Maybe this sermon that I've preached to you is exactly the Nathan that you needed to set you free. After all, that is what He came to do—to set the captives free. You've preached it. Now, let's practice it.

By the way, could you be a little nicer when you preach about me next time? And make sure you come up and thank me when you get to heaven too!

Dr. Sam Serio has pastored churches in Pennsylvania, Georgia, Maryland and South Carolina. He now serves as a counselor, author, speaker and teacher with two website ministries that help people heal from their sexual hurts or habits. He is the president of Ministry Of Mending that equips ministry leaders to more competently and compassionately minister to those who need to experience the grace of God in their deepest sexual pain and darkest sexual secrets. He is also president of Healing Sexual Hurt that evangelizes unchurched seekers to find the healing they are seeking by embracing the gospel of Jesus Christ.  

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