On the way home, the pastor may chance it. He says, "Honey, how do you think I did today?"

He may ask it, but he does not want what he's asking from her.

I cannot say that too strongly. Wife, do not tell him what you are thinking! (Remember those times when you ask him, "Does this dress make me look fat?" You want the truth, but you would appreciate some tenderness and affirmation. Well, that's where the preacher is at this moment. So, tread lightly here. Say something like, "You did just fine, honey. I'm always so proud of you").

However, let's imagine if the pastor's wife unloaded on him. She says, "Well, OK. I wasn't going to say it. But you had a stain on that suit coat and should have worn the grey. And your hair was sticking up in the back."

Wait. She's just getting started.

"The introduction to the sermon didn't work, honey. I'm sorry. Maybe I was just distracted. And you had too many points to the sermon. And ..."

She's not through yet.

"I distinctly remember you preaching this sermon last year. Don't you think you're repeating them too often? And you used a plural verb with a singular noun several times. And you still haven't lost your rural Alabama accent, saying 'wrench' instead of 'rinse.' And must you say 'y'all'?  It sounds so backwoods, not like someone well-educated like yourself."

(After reading this draft to her, my wife insisted I drop in a note to say a) none of this is autobiographical, b) when I was pastoring, she and I rarely went home in the same car, and c) while I still sound like an Alabama farm boy, she doesn't say those things. Not much, anyway. (Smiley face here).

OK. We were just imagining that the wife might say those things. Be thankful she doesn't. She has been married to her man long enough and learned him sufficiently to know when he needs an encouraging word, when he needs his back rubbed, when he needs to be left alone, and when he can receive positive input (aka, helpful criticism).

Again, it's not a bad idea for a pastor to have an armor-bearer at his right side as he greets departing worshippers. Even if such a friend does nothing, a critic who wants to unload on the preacher will be less likely to pour on the acid if a witness is on the scene.

Scripturally, a pastor is a shepherd whose job it is to protect the flock. However, pressing that metaphor to its limits, sometimes the stronger members of the flock need to rise up and defend him, taking steps to protect him from well-intentioned but undiscerning members.

Pray for your pastor.

Dr. Joe McKeever writes from the vantage point of more than 60 years as a disciple of Jesus, more than 50 years preaching His gospel, and more than 40 years of cartooning for every imaginable Christian publication.

For the original article, visit joemckeever.com.

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