I talk and write often about the concept of likeability because I believe it can have a tremendous impact on our personal and professional lives. The most difficult feedback I receive goes like this: â€śOkay, what youâ€™re saying sounds nice, but should likeability really be our primary objective?
â€śWas Jesus even likeable?â€ť
This is an important point for me to address because, while I can see how the two might seem mutually exclusive, I also believe the pillars of likeability are rooted in scripture and what it teaches. Each has played an integral role in my spiritual development.
Although Jesus wasnâ€™t always liked, I believe Jesus was always likable. Hereâ€™s why.
The worldâ€™s hatred for Jesus was theological, not sociological.
There is some overlap between the two, of course, but Jesus always made it clear the former was more important. He never fought battles over purely sociological points, unless they were important to his theology.
Likewise, Paul did not encourage Christians to be social revolutionaries.
Earthly governments were, after all, part of the temporal economy of God (Rom 13:1â€“7). They were a part of the old world that was passing away, and it was not Paulâ€™s intent that the church should disrupt society or overthrow governments. Rather, he encouraged Christians to be good citizens and exemplary members of their families and of their society, but to do so in a manner consistent with the teachings of Christ.
What if becoming more likable by being exemplary members of family and society is the best way to promote the gospel message?
Jesus Responded to Hatred With Love
Scripture warns Christians they will be hated by the world (John 15:19) but notice how the exact passage warning Christians of impending hatred also commands them to love one another. In this passage, the stark contrast between the love of Christ and the hate of the world is the same contrast that should be made between the world and Christians.
Even when Jesus was most hated, he never stopped being likable.
He never stopped being generous with everything he had, engaging others in conversation, celebrating and mourning with others, and liking other people, even those who were most awful to him. When it came time for his life to end, Jesus continued to be generous and gracious, even with those who were killing him.
When we are hated by the world, and wonder how we should respond, we should look to Jesus as our example. Despite being hated, we should continue to be likable.
The Early Church Followed Jesusâ€™ Example
In 1 Thesselonians 4:10-12 Paul urges Christians (parakaloumen) to do four things that he believes will â€świn the respect of outsidersâ€ť and allow the community to â€śnot be dependent on anybodyâ€ť (v 12). The four initiatives are as follows:
- To abound more (in love)
- To aspire to live a quiet life
- To attend to their own business
- To work with their own hands
As I read these commands I canâ€™t help but think how many parallels and connections there are with being likable. Again, the idea is not that a person can make everybody like them, all the time, or even that hatred and animosity wonâ€™t be part of the reality.
The point is to live in harmony with others as much as it depends on you (Rom 12:16).
With more than a dozen years of local church ministry, Justin Lathrop has spent the last several years starting businesses and ministries that partner with pastors and churches to advance the kingdom. He is the founder of Helpstaff.me (now Vanderbloemen Search), Oaks School of Leadership, and MinistryCoach.tv, all while staying involved in the local church. Justin serves as a consultant in the area of strategic relations predominantly working with the Assemblies of God, helping to build bridges with people and ministries to more effectively reach more people.
For the original article, visit justinlathrop.com.