Ron-and-CherylI love being a pastor’s wife. It truly is who God has called me to be in this season of life. Everyday is not easy, but when I’m serving as God intended for me to serve, I’m never more fulfilled in life.

That’s why I decided to share this advice to pastor’s wives. (I understand my husband has lots of pastors who read his blog. I hope they will share this with their spouse.)

Here is my advice:

Don’t try to be something you are not … and … Don’t be afraid to be yourself.

So often we have a picture in our head of what a pastor’s wife is “suppose” to look like. I did before I was one. Of course, she plays the piano and/or sings in the choir … she bakes the most wonderful desserts … and she is active in every ministry the church and community have to offer … she can quote scripture in every sentence … her marriage is always perfect … and … oh yeah … she is the mother of 2.5 perfect children.

And the sad thing is…often we (as pastor’s wives) beat ourselves up if we don’t meet all or at least several of these (self-imposed) expectations.

I’m not sure if it is because Ron and I surrendered to the full time vocational ministry later in life, but I soon realized if these were the expectations then I was in big trouble. People closest to me have never suggested I join the choir. I played a bassoon in high school, which very few churches have a use for these days.

I don’t cook (blessed to be married to a wonderful husband who does). I have typically worked full-time outside the home, and I still have to use the table of contents in the Bible occasionally (That’s the result of coming to Christ as an adult. Praise God for children’s church).

Yet, God still called “me” to be a pastor’s wife (And, I’m still wondering why some days). BUT, I do have to say, I do have two pretty amazing sons, nearly perfect as they appear to me. (Can I count my amazing Yorkiepoo puppy as the .5?)

At first, when we were church planters, I wore many hats as a greeter, preschool teacher, baby rocker and clean up crew, just to name a few. Thankfully as the church grew, I was able to invest my time in the areas I was most passionate about, such as greeting and welcoming, and attending services to support my husband (He says he preaches better when I’m in the room).

No matter the church we serve in, my heart’s desire is to interact with as many people as possible to help all feel welcome. And I love hugs, both giving and receiving! And I love to hear my man preach, even as many as three times on a Sunday.

God gives different gifts to different people and I need to remind myself of God’s truth—that I need to be the person God called “me” to be! It is not always easy saying no to all the church expects me to be, but I have learned that by saying “yes” to what God is calling me to do. Not being afraid to say “no” to other things allows me the freedom to follow my passions. It also allows God to use others to fill roles they should be doing, roles they fill better than me. Finally, it allows me to be the best supporter I can be for my husband. (Again, I don’t understand it, but he claims he’s a better pastor because of me. BTW, he asked me to put this line in here.)

Remember, don’t try to be someone you’re not. Be the person God has called you to be! God’s Word says His yoke is easy, so don’t let the world convince you otherwise!

For the original article, visit

Cheryl Edmondson is the wife of Ron Edmondson, pastor at Immanuel Baptist Church in Lexington, Ky.

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