These 7 Skills Are Necessary to Get People to Listen to You

Rick Warren says communication is not automatic.
Rick Warren says communication is not automatic. (Facebook )

Most church conflict results from poor communication. Even your best ideas, plans or suggestions are worthless if you can't communicate them effectively.

Remember, communication is not automatic. Just because someone hears you say something doesn't mean they're really listening.

Fortunately, there are seven skills you can develop that will guarantee people will listen when you speak. Just follow these guidelines from the Bible:

1. Choose the right time. Timing is the first key. You may be ready to talk, but are they ready to listen? Never drop a bomb! "For to every matter there is an appropriate time and just way, though a man's distress weighs heavily on him" (Eccl. 8:6).

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2. Plan your presentation. Think it through first. Especially plan your introduction and your supporting illustrations. Don't start with the detail. In TV they move from the long shot to the medium shot to the close up. "The heart of the wise teaches his mouth, and adds learning to his lips" (Prov. 16:23).

3. Begin with his or her needs. A listener is always asking "Why should I listen to this?" and "How will it benefit me?" If you answer those two questions up front, you will have their undivided attention. "Let no unwholesome word proceed out of your mouth, but only that which is good for building up, that it may give grace to the listeners" (Eph. 4:29).

4. Listen first. We get into trouble when we make assumptions. Be willing to hear the other side out first. "Therefore, my beloved brothers, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger" (James 1:19).

5. Say it positively. No one likes to hear bad news. Learn to be both realistic and optimistic at the same time. You are never persuasive when you are abrasive! If you have bad news, say it up front in a factual, non-personal way. Then quickly move into a constructive mode. "The wise in heart will be called prudent, and the sweetness of the lips increases learning" (Prov. 16:21).

6. Clarify your conclusions. Summarize and recap what you've said. Be specific. Restate what you've decided on and what you haven't. "I exhort Euodia and Syntyche to be of the same mind in the Lord" (Phil. 4:2).

7. End with an encouraging word. Exit lines are important. Even if the discussion was heated and you both took some heavy shots of criticism, try to end on a high note. "The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but he who listens to counsel is wise. (Prov. 12:15).

Try these principles out this week.

 

Rick Warren is the founding pastor of Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, California, one of America's largest and most influential churches. Rick is author of the New York Times best-seller The Purpose Driven Life. His book The Purpose Driven Church was named one of the 100 Christian books that changed the 20th century. He is also founder of pastors.com, a global Internet community for pastors.

For the original article, visit pastors.com.

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