Weeding Toxic Cynicism Out of Your Leadership Savvy

Cynicism is toxic waste to a Christian leader.
Cynicism is toxic waste to a Christian leader. (Pixabay)

There's a good reason people become more cynical with age and why young people are more idealistic: experience.

For example, if a contractor starts a job for a young person, say laying sod, and then doesn't show up for three days, the young person doesn't know what to think. And in their idealism, they are very forgiving. They do not yet have enough experience to understand what just happened.

The more "experienced" person, however, knows that "start and delay" is a frequently used tactic by many over-booked contractors to lock in jobs. In other words, they know it's just more hassle for you to change contractors in the middle of the job than work with the one dragging his feet.

The same thing happens when interviewees overstate their qualifications for a job, or employers overstate how great it is to work there, when a politician makes a promise they don't have the power to keep or a company sells a product they won't service properly.

Get Spirit-filled content delivered right to your inbox! Click here to subscribe to our newsletter.

So after many repetitions of this cycle, we start to get cynical. All of us. No matter how old we are.

But that doesn't have to be the end of it. We can build a more realistic set of expectations about people. About how unpredictable they can and will be. And yes, deceitful.

I called this process "managing against the fall." Sure. Love people and hope they will keep their promises. But always have a way to hold people accountable or walk away. President Reagan called this "trust but verify."

Our idealism will inevitably shrink over time, but here are two ideas to help us end up as realists rather than cynics:

1. Forgive the one who sins against you. Always. That's a Jesus thing.

2. Don't put yourself in a position where you need to forgive.

For example, for a good-sized job, never pay "in full" up front (a deposit is OK for a reputable firm). And never, ever make the final payment until they are "done done" (as in, once you hand them the check, you're OK if they drive away in their truck and never return). That's not cynical. That's just realistic.

And check those references and, if available, those Google ratings.

Patrick Morley is the founder of Man in the Mirror Ministries.

This article originally appeared at patrickmorley.com.

Get Spirit-filled content delivered right to your inbox! Click here to subscribe to our newsletter.


Dr. Mark Rutland's

National Institute of Christian Leadership (NICL)

The NICL is one of the top leadership training programs in the U.S. taught by Dr. Mark Rutland. If you're the type of leader that likes to have total control over every aspect of your ministry and your future success, the NICL is right for you!

FREE NICL MINI-COURSE - Enroll for 3-hours of training from Dr. Rutland's full leadership course. Experience the NICL and decide if this training is right for you and your team.

Do you feel stuck? Do you feel like you’re not growing? Do you need help from an expert in leadership? There is no other leadership training like the NICL. Gain the leadership skills and confidence you need to lead your church, business or ministry. Get ready to accomplish all of your God-given dreams. CLICK HERE for NICL training dates and details.

The NICL Online is an option for any leader with time or schedule constraints. It's also for leaders who want to expedite their training to receive advanced standing for Master Level credit hours. Work through Dr. Rutland's full training from the comfort of your home or ministry at your pace. Learn more about NICL Online. Learn more about NICL Online.

Charisma Leader — Serving and empowering church leaders