Gayle Haggard Recounts Being 'Cut Off' From Church





QUOTE: "I felt I was twice damaged. First, by the knowledge that my husband had a secret life, and second, by the fact that I was cut off by my church family at the time I needed them most. … We received as much judgment from those who profess to be Christian as those who don’t. So I realized that Christians are just people. They aren’t any better than anyone else. … Somehow Christianity has become about personal righteousness rather than about accepting that we all fail and we all need a savior—of which Ted is a perfect example." —Gayle Haggard, explaining in her new book, Why I Stayed, the depth of hurt she experienced from her church family following the high-profile sex scandal involving her husband, Ted Haggard [gazette.com, 1/27/10]

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-2 #8 Annette Lofton 2010-02-02 14:40
Mrs Haggard , it's amazing isn't it how those who say they are belivers are suppose to be their brothers keeper , but instead their brothers destroyer ! he without SIN cast the first stone . continue in Gods will if he forgave you that's all that matter. be a God pleaser instead of a man pleaser they will let you down anytime , but God He said He would NEVER leave you or forsake you be encourage my sister in Christ !
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+1 #7 Page 2010-02-02 13:10
I have not read Gayle's book. But I will say this. IMO, there is more to this than meets the eye. The Bible talks about be ye not unequally yoked. I do believe this scripture would apply to this couple at this time. Ted has admitted that he still struggles with this sin. He deliberately walked away from the counsel who was overseeing his restoration. I have heard many overseers and counselors say that a restoration period should be anywhere from 1-3 years. I am NOT advocating divorce. I am saying that I believe Gayle should have separated from him and gotten counseling for herself and the children. Yes, we the church should forgive, but we should not be gullible. We need to use much wisdom in these types of situations. Once repentance and restoration has occurred, then the person would be welcomed back into the church, but NOT in any kind of a ministry in the church.
Meanwhile, we the church has a responsibility to support the victims in these situations, not shun them.
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-1 #6 RevHarriet 2010-02-02 12:51
I remember when I first heard about Ted Haggard's story and how the "panel" dismissed him from his church and from his home, I immediately began to think how wonderful it would have been if the Haggards would have been given the opportunity to sit in their own church, receive the word and to be loved back by their people. It must have been so difficult for Gayle. Christians have a problem showing unconditional love in difficult situations. When they needed the church the most, the church wasn't there! Jesus keeps loving us through our mistakes and encouraging us all along the way. I believe it is called GRACE! I praise God for Gayle being a testimony of showing unconditional love to her husband and to the Christian world!
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+3 #5 Kathy Hancock 2010-02-02 11:58
Restoration is always what we do. As I remember a panel of ministers was appointed for this purpose. However, Haggard stop the process before they felt he was ready. I admire Gayle for her decision to stay with her husband in the face of such circumstances. It shows me what a mature Christian she is. She is to be commended. However, the church had no choice but to separate themselves from Ted in view of what he had done and continued to lie about until his back was against the wall. Ted caused the problems his family faced, not the church. Hopefully he will continue in the path of restoration. Trust is very hard to earn back.
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-2 #4 Pastor Joe 2010-02-02 11:03
We already know "what would Jesus do". Now, what would you do?

John 8:3-5 (King James Version)

3And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst,

4They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act.

5Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou?
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+2 #3 Pastor Joe 2010-02-02 10:58
The Haggard sin and issue has shown the world that we " the church" need more time in prayer with God. There are two many bible examples of what to do when a person in the body has been found guilty of sin. The bases of how we deal with the person is contingent upon a repentant heart. If Godly sorrow is there, we forgive and have mercy. If the person, refuses to repent then we renounce them from the church until such a time they repent.
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+2 #2 angel oyola 2010-02-02 10:30
Mr. Winfield I understand what you have stated. I believe Gayle was not talking about being reinstated. She was referring to the fact that at the time she needed her brothers and sisters in Christ the most, they turned thier backs on her.
Yes, a pastor is to be faithful, honest and an examples to the flock. Did he lied? yes, Did he committed adultry? yes.
The way it was handled was not correct and I believe this is what hurt Gayle. We are to forgive and restore. Not just forgive. What I mean by restore is not referring to being reinstated. God have mercy on us, the body of Christ. Because we are failing alot in this area of restoration.
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0 #1 tomwinfield 2010-02-02 10:00
It's amazing to me how Jesus said the Holy Spirit will be with us and in us, and Paul said--"For it is God who is at work in you," and we still act like we do. Churches still split into ever more denominations. The power of God among Christians, as seen in the Book of Acts, escapes us altogether. But ass for Ted Haggard, methinks his wife Gayle has forgotten that he stood over the people as their pastor, shepherd and Bible teacher, while he carried on a secret sex affair with a man. These good people were betrayed. Their trust was destroyed. Even with the Holy Spirit in us, how could they just say--"Oh well, we're all human aren't we? Let's just forgive Ted and go on." No, t he people were outraged and rightly so. Forgive? Yes. Reinstate him as pastor? No, a thousand times no. He destroyed his career, and his life, and Gayle's life, when he chose sex with a man. Pastors are expected to be further along with God than the rest of us, certainly not morally corrupt and lying.
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