I See Dead People … Just Not As Often

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Details: Written by Marcus Yoars

Don't call it official yet, but many pastors may have one less thing on their plate in the coming years: officiating funerals. In the last decade, the American public has increasingly opted for funerals and memorial services that aren't led by ministers. According to William McQueen, president of the Cremation Association of North America, there's been a growing demand for secular "celebrants" who can deliver eulogies just as a pastor would—but without the religious or church rituals.

"What we've found in the past decade is that when you ask people whether they want a minister, people say, 'Not interested,'" McQueen says. "Today, of all the ceremonies we deal with, I'd say 50 percent are religious or clergy-led, 20 percent celebrant-led and 30 percent are having no ceremony or one led by family."

A 2008 survey of more than 6,000 people found that only one in four adults expects to have a religious service when they die. And with more than half of all Americans saying they don't belong to a church, many funeral directors believe Americans no longer see a value in religious funerals.

These people " don't see the need to be ushered into another world. There's no 'personal God' they expect to meet," says Ariela Keysar, who co-authored the 2008 survey at Trinity College's Institute for the Study of Secularism in Society and Culture in Hartford, Conn. "It's revelatory about where current social attitudes are heading."

What's interesting to note, however, is that even among those not wanting a church- or pastor-influenced service, there is still a desire for spiritual elements such as scripture passages or prayers. "Quite a few of the people say they're 'spiritual but not religious' or just not involved with a church anymore," says Eldon "Bud" Strawn, a celebrant on call for a St. Petersburg, Fla., funeral center. "Quite a few of the Catholics say they don't want to deal with a priest because they think they'll be scolded or guilt-tripped." [usatoday.com, 8/20/09]

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Related Terms: funeral , memorial service , religious service , death , dead , minister , dying , celebrant , ritual , celebrant

Comments

+1 #15 Chaplain Morgan 2009-08-26 03:41

Arising Glory says:

'Jesus said, "I am the Resurrection and the Life." Take that out of a funeral and it's a sad one for sure!'

You've got that right. My experience in doing countless funerals is that there is a huge difference in a funeral for someone who obviously loved the Lord, and someone who didn't. You can literally feel it in the air. The "hope" that the Bible speaks of gives life and comfort to those who believe.

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+5 #14 Merly 2009-08-22 12:05

Quoting Angela werk:

Funerals for believers are never for the deceased person but those left to figure things out. They are the ones that need Hope and Assurance of a Loving God, and a Rescuing Savior. Removing the message at a funeral is even more sad than the loss of the person. Sometimes a funeral is the only church some will get a chance to meet Jesus.

AMEN my sister!!

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+1 #13 Al Silvestri 2009-08-22 01:29

I don't find it too surprising that the Cremation Association of North America would have findings of fewer funerals not asking for a minister. I think that those opting for cremation (not all) are probably less likely to have affiliation with the Church, but burning a body may be seen as improper for many affiliated with the Church.
As for the family lead funerals, I would be curious to know how many of the family members leading the funeral are part of the body of Christ, because every member of the body of Christ is a minister; hence the statistics would again be changed.

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+4 #12 Sunshine 7 2009-08-21 14:18

When my Mother passed away, I asked her pastor to give a salvation message as there would be many there who only attend church for funerals & weddings. He did & three or four people raised their hand for salvation & he prayed for them. I am thankful that he was not afraid of who he might "offend", as I certainly did not care. Jesus offended many. My Mother loved the Lord and wanted all of her family & friends to come to know Jesus.

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0 #11 Michele 2009-08-21 14:03

It's a problem that Catholics think they will be scolded- death and the Mass of the Resurrection is one of the many times that the Catholic Church welcomes and cares for those who have been away. Along with weddings and Baptisms, it is one of the best times, because most Catholic Churches and priests especially are tender and thoughtful and welcoming to those who grieve. My parish does a lot more funerals than weddings, and it is so true for us. So many people call the parish office for 'last rites' and find a God who loves them and welcomes them in their final hours. And the family finds a God and Church who also loves them and reaches out to them where they are at that time. The Catholic Church has an extensive and wonderful way to pray for our beloved dead; why not take advantage of it?

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+4 #10 Charles2810 2009-08-21 12:05

Quoting Sojourner Truth:

Angela, your last sentence is a major reason why many people, including church-going Christians, do not want a preacher at a funeral. The preacher has a captive, grieving, respectful audience. All too often, he considers this prime time to "preach the Gospel." Everyone present may not agree with his personal version of the Gospel. Families don't want to risk the embarrassment a thoughtless preacher can throw into the mix. Friends are grateful not to be forced to sit through a sermon. They can all receive "hope" and "assurance," etc. without a preacher, thank God. People can be saved anywhere.

People can be saved anywhere - but only one way. Out Lord tells us the He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. NO ONE gets to God without Him. (John 14:6) For many - a funeral is a time of sadness and despair They need to meet Jesus there. A believer's funeral is a joyus celebration.

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+3 #9 Lyle 2009-08-21 11:27

Interesting the Sojourner knows what people want at a funeral. I guess the folks who have asked me to speak at funerals and memorials where the exception rather than the rule. I'm not a pastor or preacher by profession, but they asked me because they KNEW that the Gospel would be spoken.

Our job as survivors is to celebrate the lives of those who have passed before us and rejoice in the fact that they reside in eternity with the Lord - IF they were believers. And, it is our responsibility as believers to share the Good News anytime; anyplace we can do so in a loving way. If the pastor/preacher is worth his weight in salt he will deliver the truth in a way that will not belittle the grieving process or demean the one who is being memorialized.

If someone attending is offended by the truth then I suspect that they needed to hear it more than the others who were glad to hear of the things of God.

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+4 #8 Arising Glory 2009-08-21 11:07

Jesus said, "I am the Resurrection and the Life." Take that out of a funeral and it's a sad one for sure!

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+2 #7 Angela werk 2009-08-21 10:44

who has been to a funeral and never questioned there own mortality? Most grieving at a funeral - even those just paying 'respects' to the family are wanting some truth to get into a doubting heart. I believe that even as dreadful as funerals can be - i believe many go wanting to hear a message that they can think on. Many of us carry baggage all our life, death reminds us of how short life really is - how baggage can rob us from Joy or Peace. EVERYONE wants to have Hope inwardly but have many outward obstacles to overcome to reach out. Pride is the biggest. To go to a funeral is accepted in the eyes of peers, only the really brave can just go to a church service to learn more - many need a crutch. Going to a funeral and rolling your eyes at the salvation message is expected outwardly - but inwardly seeds are planted. Some plant seeds, some water - BUT GOD brings the increase.

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-7 #6 Sojourner Truth 2009-08-21 10:32

Quoting Izzy Herriette & Co:

Just another "step" in shutting God out of our nation! As a former pastor, I can attest to the difficulty in being a minister officiating a funeral where not "one" is desiring to hear the gospel message. It's a challenge to know how to officiate one who's passed on, knowing that they didn't know or didn't want to know the Lord prior to their passing on.

Idea: Say something nice and noncommittal about the dead person and the family. Keep your ideas about where he/she spends eternity to yourself. You don't know who is or isn't saved, anyway. Don't give an "invitation," please. It's not God people want out of funerals, it's the preachers.

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