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How to Have a Happy Marriage in Ministry

Building a strong marriage and a healthy church should not be at odds. Father-son pastors share their win-win strategies.


Is it possible to pastor a large congregation and have a happy marriage at the same time? Yes, say Larry Stockstill, a teaching pastor at Bethany World Prayer Center in Baton Rouge, La., and his son, Jonathan Stockstill, senior pastor of the 5,000-strong congregation.

Here the two pastors tell how God has helped them enjoy a strong marriage and fruitful ministry.

Larry Stockstill:

After 35 years of marriage, I believe a happy wife is the key to a happy marriage. It’s not in the Bible, but “if Mama ain’t happy, nobody’s happy!” The happiness in my marriage has been structured around seven basic principles. read more

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When it comes to marriage, ‘Thou Shalt Honor’

How honoring your spouse can turn your marriage into the most remarkable and rewarding experience of your life and ministry


Sometime back, I—being a loving, sensitive husband whose whole ministry is based on the concept of honoring others—was talking to my wife, Norma, on the phone. In the course of our conversation I asked, “What do you need from me that I’m not giving you right now?”

She responded, “You don’t know how to honor me.” Naturally, I laughed, assuming she was joking. I thought, “You can’t be serious!” I said, “That’s a good one! But what do you really need?” And she said with all seriousness, “No, I’m not kidding. You don’t know how to honor me.”

Honor Is a Diamond

Obviously, after all these years, we still need to work at this idea of honoring each other. And it is work. In my mind, honor is a diamond. We started out with a rough, raw stone. And over the years, I’ve made several major cuts and polishes, turning it into a beautiful gem. As far as I’m usually concerned, I’m doing a great job and it’s ready to mount and display. Norma, on the other hand—because she knows me better than anyone—realizes that there are still some rough surfaces, and she sees them all every day. read more

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Fasting Forward

Prepare your church for a 2012 breakthrough with a corporate fast in January


For several years now, many in my church, Free Chapel, have joined me in a 21-day fast to seek and honor God in January for the new year. By starting each year with a corporate fast, we have found that God meets with us in very unique and special ways. His presence grows greater and greater with each day of the fast. Without fail, He always shows up.

Corporately fasting in January is much the same precept as praying in the morning to establish the will of God for the entire day. I believe that, if we will pray and seek God and give Him our best at the first of the year, He will bless our entire year. “But seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you” (Matt. 6:33).

Short Season, Lasting Effect

Fasting is a short season that produces a lasting effect. Out of 365 days in a year, 21 days is not that long to take a break from your routine and experience a fresh encounter with God. We fast corporately as a church at the beginning of every year because that short season sets the course for the rest of the year. read more

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How Ministry Marriages Can Thrive

Avoiding three common traps will help your marriage not just survive


In the beginning, Karen and I were lay members of the church I now pastor. I worked in my family’s electronics and appliance business until one day, the pastor of our church asked me to come on staff as a marriage counselor. Karen and I had been leading a large Bible study, and many couples in the church had been coming to us for counseling.

So in August 1982, I joined the staff of Trinity Fellowship Church in Amarillo, Texas. My official role was marriage and pre-marriage counselor. Ten months later, the church’s senior pastor resigned and I was selected to take his place. Within a year, I’d gone from selling appliances to leading a church with 900 members. I wasn’t prepared, to say the least.

Karen and I had a strong marriage before I went on staff, but the burden of ministry had taken its toll on us almost immediately. After I became senior pastor, it intensified. I made a lot of mistakes as a husband and father. I saw the negative effect those mistakes had on Karen and our two children. read more

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Divorce-Proof Your Church

Ten keys for building rock-solid relationships that go the distance


Believe it or not, 85 percent of Americans still get married. Why? Because God created us that way. At the core of who we are, we long for safe, loving, committed relationships. You don’t have to look very far in the Bible to realize that He also wants to bless our love and marriage.

What’s troubling today is that the majority of couples eventually break up. Research estimates that between 40 to 50 percent of today’s marriages end in divorce. If you count couples that separate but don’t divorce, the statistic is even higher. The snowball effect? Tragically, one in three children now live in single-parent homes or do not live with their parents at all.

Behind pasted-on smiles and closed doors is a lot of brokenness from love gone bad. As a pastoral counselor and marriage and family therapist, I’ve sat and talked with countless clients, and over and over again I hear the same cry of the heart: “All I ever wanted was for someone to love me.” read more

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Dr. Turnaround

Dr. Mark Rutland clearly knows how to save struggling organizations. But equally as impressive as his turnaround record is his passion to empower leaders like you for growth.


Anyone can lead when things are going great. Just show up and act like a leader! But when things are going down or there’s crisis, that’s when you find out who are the true leaders.

Dr. Mark Rutland is a true leader. He led a major turnaround in the 1990s at Calvary Assembly in Winter Park, Fla.—the church where Charisma started and where I served on staff for five years. He did it again at Southeastern College (now University) in Lakeland, Fla., where my dad was a professor when I was a teen. Now he’s doing it again at Oral Roberts University (ORU).

Calvary Assembly went through a painful scandal in 1981. And though the church survived, it went from 5,000 attendees to 1,800 within a nine-year period while taking on huge debt to build a 5,500-seat sanctuary. Rutland was able to stave off bankruptcy, heal a hurting congregation and build up attendance to 3,600 before he left. read more

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How to Train Your Successor

 Is there a way to retire from your pulpit and effectively mentor the incoming pastor? Yes—and two pastors have the model plan.


Is it possible for a church with a large congregation to successfully transition from a pastor of 38 years to a new and younger leader—and experience church growth at the same time? Absolutely, say pastor emeritus Kemp C. Holden and pastor Marty Sloan of Harvest Time church in Fort Smith, Ark.

Ten years ago, during a lengthy stay in the hospital, Holden heard the Lord tell him to position his church for 20 years of growth. As a result, he created a plan to find and train his replacement and prepare his 3,000-member congregation for the change of leadership. Not long afterward, he met Sloan—who was half Kemp’s age—and knew he was to become his successor. 

In this article, the pastors each tell how God helped them implement Kemp’s plan, which resulted not just in a successful pastoral transition at Harvest Time, but also in an increase of the church’s conversions, attendance and income.   read more

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Principles for leading a Turnaround

How to orchestrate a recovery in the wake of organizational catastrophe


In 2004, Hurricane Charley cut a devastating swath through central Florida and made a direct hit on our house. We had made the decision to ride out the storm, believing the weatherman that the worst of it would go elsewhere. He was wrong. 

 We watched in horror as a massive oak tree was sucked up like a giant broccoli plant and plunged into our swimming pool, barely missing the house. That blow could have utterly destroyed the house and very probably killed us. The damage was bad enough as it was.

When the howling wind stopped and the terrible night was over, the scene was a war zone. I will never forget the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach as I forced the front door open and crawled out to survey wreckage greater than I ever imagined.  read more

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Leading by Giving

Leadership, generosity and how a family is redefining generational wealth

 

David Green is founder and CEO of Hobby LobbyBorn in a pastor’s home, he began working at a local five-and-dime as a teen. After marrying his high school sweetheart, he and his wife, Barbara, began a small picture-frame shop, and in 1972 they opened their first retail store. Today Hobby Lobby has more than 475 stores in 40 states. David and Barbara have three grown children.

In 2007, his family made national headlines when they pledged $70 million to Oral Roberts University, which was $52 million in debt and facing unlawful termination lawsuits from three former professors. In the years since, ORU has experienced a dramatic turnaround in enrollment and financial stability. In the following interview, 
Dr. Mark Rutland, who was appointed president of ORU in 2009, chats with Green about the roots of his family’s generosity. read more

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Volunteer Revolution

From recruiting to reproducing, here’s how to lead passionate servants into effective ministry


The volunteer is a unique hybrid—almost an employee and not quite a friend. Volunteers don’t get paid, yet they perform services of their own accord that benefit the local church. They are not co-workers with the paid staff, yet a bond of mutual ministry is often formed. Friendships can develop between volunteers in the pursuit of mutual service, but that is not the goal of the volunteer.

If a senior pastor understands who potential volunteers are, what they want from volunteer service and how they can be developed for effective service, 50 percent to 80 percent of a church’s staff needs could be filled—by volunteers!

 Who are potential volunteers?

Anyone who shows up is a potential volunteer. The mom who attends youth group with her teenager to keep an eye on the kid should be greeted, signed in and welcomed. At the end of the service she should be asked to pour soda at the refreshments table. read more

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